"Who am I?" The response to the most important question in life
Main Key points
· The phrase "Who am I?" implies that a person can only be one set thing, which only heightens fear.
Given how frequently this question is asked, it is possible that the answer is correct. Our being almost appears to be a static thing.
People who regularly ask questions often struggle with who they are and seek a profound understanding of who they are. The paradox is that while you search for your identity, you're probably going to feel more frail about yourself. The question being asked can be inversely related to how easy or difficult you find your life to be.
Ø What approach do you wish to take to life?
Making it simpler for what you want to experience to the surface should be the main goal rather than discovering who you are or what lies beneath.
Our identity should be viewed as a fluid process. Instead of viewing ourselves as a static photograph, we should embrace a flowing sense of self in which we are continually organizing, contemplating, and reconsidering ourselves. What if instead of asking "Who am I?" we asked, "How would I like to interact in life?"
A sense of inadequacy usually affects the question "Who am I?" People would fare far better if they committed to the unfolding of life as they participated in the increasingly difficult task of understanding themselves. By being conscious of our thoughts, refusing to react out of habit, and living in the present, we may better influence our lives. As a result, the identity we desire sets off the wave of life, which the flow then intensifies.
Ø The extremes of the identity continuum
Imagine that you were sentenced to 20 years in prison at the age of 18. You hardly have any adult life experience outside of prison. Your perception of yourself is extremely limited. You can question yourself, "Who am I?"
You would undoubtedly feel exposed as a result, which ironically would make you nervous about being let go shortly. It's unlikely that you would opt to remain in prison before you knew who you were. You must enable new insights into who you are to come through your experiences.
My clients have included people who have spent most of their adult lives married. They frequently have unsettling thoughts after being divorced. They claim that they don't know who they are.
What's more, they might not be aware of who they are as autonomous, single individuals who are not involved in a romantic relationship. After all, how else could they? Instead of remaining entrapped in dread, you would need to summon a sense of wonder and adventure. A completely new sense of self is beginning to emerge. You get to recreate yourself as you travel.
On the other extreme of the identity, spectrum are people who claim to know themselves very well. The opposite extreme likewise symbolizes an identity-related vulnerability. When you are so familiar with yourself, there is no room for improvement. Furthermore, it suggests a serious vulnerability that is being avoided since it would be dangerous.
Ø Your identity is a potential flow state.
Searching for a stronger sense of self makes sense. It makes sense to pay close attention to your thoughts, emotions, hopes, and concerns. The secret is to embrace the idea that you are malleable—more akin to a delicate willow tree than a sturdy oak tree. The more flexible willow weathers the storm as it bends with the wind, whereas the more rigid oak is more likely to break.
The universe is thought to be a flow of possibility. And it is vital to understand that we are a part of that cosmos. The goal is to actualize that potential by retaining the facets of our identity that still serve us and letting go of the outmoded, counterproductive facets that hold us back.
This process is referred to as positive disintegration. This permits us to find a middle ground between the previously mentioned opposing extremes and create a link with the self that is committed to our own growth.
